The expectations, the lists, the nerve racking thoughts of what is fun and cool these days. It hit me this spring with the never ending nightly scrolling of Tik Tok. Graduation reels playing, watching this little girl dressed in a cap and gown laughing and then the changes to a teenager graduating middle school. Or watching this young girl walking past each school she attended, picking up items like her Cap at one location, gown at another, tassels and finishing at her high school graduation. But one reel caught me in my emotions, bringing my heart into my throat. I could feel the erg to cry and it wasn’t even my child in the reels or someone I knew. But for the text written while it played hit deep. “Four more summers is all we have left with her.” As the young girl was graduating eighth grade. It clicked to me in that moment, Bella would be going into eighth grade this coming August. Did I just blink and she grew up? My mother once warned me that I’d blink and shed be grown. So many have said, time will fly once you’re a parent and boy is it.
The little girl that I once dressed up in similar shoes or outfits, is now stealing my shoes and soon to outgrow them. The little girl that once begged me to carry her, now almost looks me in the eye. Standing tall and still asking me to carry her when we’ve walked all day at Universal.
Nothing was more heart-wrenching and guilt trip, when opening boxes I had stored at my mother’s house. You always can tell who the first child is… Sorry Elle and Isaac. The unfinished first year scrapbook, it did have her family tree and all the way until her first birthday. The one thing missing, I’ll finish it soon… Cough, cough.
The guilt sunk in for many reasons, that my first child, the one that basically grew up with me. She helped me mature, taught me how to be a mom and tricked me into having another. As this four summers message replayed in my head I began calculating the grades, which child would be with which sibling and the graduation years and what ifs.
The year Isabella graduates middle school, Elle will be graduating elementary and yes that’s this coming school year.
The year Isabella will graduate high school, Elle will be finishing her first year of high school and Isaac will be graduating elementary.
Now if this doesn’t put into perspective just how little time I have left with them as “littles”. The adventures we have conquered, the memories we have made, I need more of those. My children need more time to be children, all children do these days. Which leads us to “Diving into Summer”; a summer bucket list was a group effort. Before I could photo my wonderful artistic skills and the children’s coloring skills, of our Summer Bucket List; it was destroyed in my not so genius of placement on the fridge. It listed many small and large things we’d like to do, children were informed that we may not do them all but we would try our best.
•Water balloon fight
• Universal Studios
•Go to the movies
• Beach trip
• Disney Springs
• Slumber party
Just to name a few.
So here we are entering our third week of summer break, trying our best to create lasting memories, lingering laughs and life-long love.
Melissas-Miles 