You never truly grow up, especially when you refuse to. I refuse to fully grow up. Take me to Disney, take me to Universal. I will kick my feet in the water as we walk to beach. I’ll play the music I loved growing up. The music that I watch my children sink into their chairs, as we ride with the music cranked up and windows down. Ok well maybe no windows down between the months of June to September. We do live on the surface of the sun I like to say. Most importantly though, we never truly grow up because we decide. I decide to have the fun, create the laughs, make the memories and eat the chicken fingers while dining with my mother and aunt and uncle. They knew it was coming, I’m the same “child” that cooked bagel bites at midnight growing up… And yes I still do. Though the tradition has become greater than just me making a tray of 20 bagel bites to eat alone. Oh how I miss the fast metabolism, but now that tray of 20 became a childhood memory for my children as well. Especially Elle, whom during my pregnancy with Isaac, would sit up eating snacks late at night while watching Monster High. It was our little time, but as you can tell I have fourteen browsers opened in my mind and a million stories, memories and moments all trying to get their place in this post. Though I need to steer myself back to the point of this post and no it’s not about food or embarrassing the children. That’ll be a later post, wink.
I say we never truly grow up because I had a chance this past week to have a day to get away with my mother, aunt and uncle. That’s where the chicken strips played a part in my never growing up. After a semi-quick ride to the beach, mom and I may or may not have eaten breakfast. The navigators’ fault: I was too excited to get to the beach. To have the sand, scratch that, the water on my feet. Let’s be honest, even if I don’t want to grow up, I will NEVER like sand stuck to me and in places we dare not speak of. Upon arriving, we walked the beach a bit, finding broken sand dollars, people watching and wondering how I could forget my sunglasses over an hour back home in my own vehicle. After bugging my mother that we needed to find a shop we could walk to off the beach to get a cheap pair, my aunt and uncle arrived. Thankfully, like the child I am, I asked my Aunt if she had an extra pair. Luckily she did, the child in me, forgetful, but I did remember the beach towels and a cup of water that now sat boiling in the cupholder of mom’s car.
Before heading to the beach, somehow, with my bad eyesight, I spotted a tortoise! And if you all didn’t know they hiss! As we walked to get a closer view, we heard that hissing sound. My first reaction was “did it just hiss at us” as I broke into laughter; my aunt, as well, laughing answering back “yes!”. We may have “cautiously” pet its shell, of course, away from its head. Come to think about it when you watch those Tik Toks about women wanting to pet dangerous animals, I now realize I am one of those women. It may just be a “smaller” tortoise, but maybe we scared him or maybe he was not up for sharing the lovely shrubs it was munching on. Either way, we still have all our fingers and I’d like to say, MY AUNT PET IT FIRST! Which, in my opinion, gave me the green light to pet it as well hehe.
It was so different walking the beach with them, while I listened to mom’s yelling out to their children. “Give your sister her bucket back!”, “Don’t do that!” And all the lovely things I probably have said within the past few weeks. We had also brought the children to the same beach earlier in the week. My aunt had a baggy for my shells, just as I had done for the children when we went. I felt like a true child. Let’s be honest, I can remember what my children may want or need, but when it comes to me… We’re winging this trip and waiting for the SOS texts to start coming in. “When are you getting home?” “I’m hungry, what’s for lunch/dinner?” This time it was different though, I was laughing and picking up shells. Remembering parts of my childhood, while speaking to my mother. We walked down the beach north, to Jetty Park, where my aunt and uncle remembered being able to get a beverage. Instead of just a beverage, there was a small cafe within the bait shop. That was a first for me, eating inside a bait shop, but it was peaceful, the air conditioner was on and the view of the cruise ships making port was perfect and, of course our thirst was quenched.
As we all looked over the menu, my family was in shock. I was looking at a menu and not just ordering like I did when I was younger. My family was joking about me looking over the menu when I surprised them that my taste palette had expanded. “ Oh yeah, I ate lamb and scallops at Season’s 52 with some of my friends not long ago.” All shocked by this, they wondered how I wouldn’t just be ordering… “I am the child of the ground today so… Chicken Strips and fries please.” I blurted out to the waitress, I suppose my taste palette wasn’t changed too much. Though the options were BLT, a burger, a side salad and a few other items, that were just not satisfying to me at that moment. I wasn’t going to take a leap at trying something new while starving. I’m not that silly.
After our meal, we walked the pier, the guilt in me that I didn’t have children with me weighed heavy. I’m sure my family could tell you, anything we saw I would say “too bad the children aren’t with us this time” or “Isaac would totally love this.” We saw so much sea life, which of course, you are expecting to see while we’re invading their homes. But it’s usually a dolphin in the distance or some seagulls flying over. This time was different. Yes, there were dolphins in the distance but also a manatee, what we believed to be a large sting ray, and just below us near the pier, sea turtles! Not one or two, but three, we believe. While sitting scanning the water for more sea life, I spotted something larger near where the turtles were. A shark! I wasn’t quick enough to get my phone out for a photo, that it disappeared back to the bottom of the ocean between the many rocks near the pier.
The child in me was back, as we walked along the beach back to our towels, chairs and umbrella. We passed bits and pieces of crabs, obviously that became meals to the birds. There in the sand was this tiny little crab. I picked it up, feeling fearless. “It’s alive!” My family blurted out, no quicker then those words came from their lips, then a flying crab in the air. A reaction I felt bad about, as the crab flew through the air and landed in the sand not moving. A couple was passing us by when the husband picked up the crab to check it. “It’s probably unconscious after that.” One of the three “adults” in our group said. The woman then informed us her mother-in-law did something similar. See, I’m not alone!
We sat on the beach for a bit after what seemed like the never-ending walk back to our stuff. “ Are we there yet?” I may have jokingly asked, because what better time to act like a child when I was “the child” of the group. Hearing the waves crash, the slight breeze and the feeling of complete relaxation. Until we all started to notice the 30SPF sunscreen had done nothing to protect us. Shocker right? I, the person that never packs sunscreen or puts it on, is also the person in the group that will look like a lobster for a week or so and then peal. There’s no, you look amazing from your beach trip. It’s “Where’s the aloe?” “Don’t touch me!” And “please don’t make me go outside under the rays of the sun!”
It was a perfect day. It brought up so many feelings, memories and just complete joy. Remembering being on a beach with my mother and the same aunt when I was a teenager. They wanted to tan and at that time and age, I did not. I wanted to shop. The memory of being in St. Augustine’s shopping area with my grandparents. Purchasing a necklace that was a glass heart with a rose in it. It’s crazy how time flies and the things you remember, the heartache that comes with the memories at times. So I’ll take these moments, soak them in and enjoy my burn a bit, because at the end of the day, this is a portion of my village. Some of the people that helped teach me, lift me up while I’m down and spoil my inner child, but most importantly, love me while letting me be a child even as an adult.
Melissas-Miles 