Posted in FAMILY TIME, Uncategorized

The twinkle in his eye.

“I’m leaving you in the dust!” His stern voice yelled behind him; with the soft young giggles of two small girls echoing as a chorus in the background. It was great to see him out with his walker as a race car carrying two small great grandchildren he felt on top of the world. You could see with the twinkle in his eye, the happiness it brought him. As a father of nine, a grandfather of many  grand, great and great great grandchildren he still has a lot of spunk in him.


As I put on a  faster pace to catch up all I could do was smile. I can remember being a younger child and the outings with my grandparents; like the time we went to Saint Augustine and my aunt and mother wanted to stay on the  Beach well I wanted to shop. I remember coming back to the hotel with my new items that Grandma and Grandpa got me like a necklace shaped like a heart with a rose painted. I was so excited to show my mom but that excitement would turn into laughter and concern as my mother and Aunt joined us. I would say they had forgotten their sunscreen but also the fact that they had fallen asleep on the beach (I am beyond thankful I didn’t stay… Though maybe if I had they wouldn’t have fallen asleep and might have not been that toasted!)).

Now I watch my children grow up with my grandparents after so many years of being apart (myself and grandparents), it’s a joy to see this new generation being with them. The stories that my grandfather tells as he becomes enthusiastic and the smirk on his face I wonder what other stories he could tell. He was a truck driver, he was military police… But most importantly he was a provider for his family and now he’s entertainment to say the least.  I remember being paid $.25 to massage or itch the top of his head when I was younger; now passed down to my children though I don’t believe they realize that they don’t get their $.25.


He giggled as he said “watch how they react..” and with a wink he pretended as if he was very tired pushing his two great granddaughters sitting on his walker. It wasn’t as entertaining to us, my mother, my aunts and my uncle that worry about him. As we approached his and Grandma’s house he had to make a quick phone call to tell Grandma to walk outside to see him pushing his great-granddaughter’s.


After a short visit with grandma and grandpa we headed back to our house on our walk.  Elleanna was not very happy that Grandpa wasn’t coming, she ran to his walker and said “come on!” but we had to explain that Grandpa was done walking for the day.

These are moments that’ll last a lifetime! My great grandfather used to have Carmel hard candies when myself and my cousins visited him. I remember what I believe was a cushioned small foot stool I would lean on and take as many candies as I could until an adult would stop me. I would put them in my pockets for later … As an adult I am still addicted to the candies. Takes me back in time to a much simpler time!

Do you have special memories with your grandparents?

Posted in FAMILY TIME, griefe, Guilt, Mom life

Confessions of a crazed mother: Bedrest

Unforeseen was the commotion of a weekend she thought would go so smoothly. As she packed up her belongings, memories and cherished photos she held close to her heart the tears built up in her eyes. She worked so hard for everything in that home; as she grabbed children’s toys, articles of clothing and random items that were stored away in closests she looked at them carefully. A box lay infront of her and a trash bag beside she had to decide which memories were of importance to her and her family in the future. The trash bin outside grew like a mountain with her children’s toys that were long forgotten, clothing that hadn’t fit since before children and papers of all the writings she had scribbled down over the years.


The walls of the home stored stories of times of joy; from the first turn of the key to the very first home to the sadness of losing loved ones and family disagreements. It was becoming a bitter moment. The memories like a tsunami took over, looking in the upstairs closet she remembered the little pitter patter of the girls feet as they ran in the large walk-in closet. How small they were when we moved in; Elleanna was but one and a half and Isabella was only four… The age Elleanna is now as the boxed tower in the living room and their bedroom.


The next few hours were out of one’s mind. Throwing away as much as possible knowing there were but a short time before the family showed up to help pack the memories in a storage unit.. Stress running high, arguments of help overcoming the joy of what the future would be holding. As family arrived embarrassment that the house was still unready; thinking that it would be an easy task was now a laughable moment to look back on. Though the nerve-racking moments were about to come. As an overwhelming unpleasant feeling took over my body I knew something wasn’t right. After finding the unpleasant red I was rushed to the hospital by my mother and aunt in tears. Feeling the past was reliving itself the negative thoughts were clouding my mind. Hours of testing from sonograms that were unseen by my eyes due to their fear of anything being wrong to Iv’s and nurse visits all I kept asking was to know the baby was there..  I just wanted to know that; if told that the baby was there with a heartbeat I could calm a bit but they didn’t give me that satisfaction. After five hours the news that the baby was currently alright but with complications that took lifting, bending, walking much and stress out of my abilities. Do they not know me? Stress is a major portion of my life!

We headed home with my mind unable to wrap around the fact I couldn’t lift Elleanna or that I would be out of work for some time. A follow up doctors appointment was made to further inform me of my and the baby condition. Two days later I sat in the cold doctors office; my mind wondering around with questions. As the doctor opened the door with paper work in hand he was smiling. How could he be smiling this was not a moment for smiles in my opinion. He said have you been on the bed rest? Not stressing? I laughed “I’m doing it to the best of my abilities but stress under these circumstances is high.”

It was a moment of complete confusion as he said all the “doctor terms” I sat with a blank stare… “Can you repeat that in English now?” With the printed information he circled what the main concerns were. The heart rate at 157 I was just happy to know that the baby was there and that as long as I did everything. I could that it would have a better chance of less complications.


The days went by, bored out of my mind and unable to pick up Elleanna when she cried for me broke my heart; but I knew I had to do whatever I needed for our baby. As someone usually working five to six days a week, school pick ups, grocery store trips and the busy life of a mother after work came to a halt. Unable to push a vacuum I started to feel trapped. The negativity clouding my mind I felt so alone; though with family help and Geraldo’s I still felt like no one understood my mindset.

How can I turn this bed rest into something positive? As the girls hugged my legs, my stomach and told me how much they loved me I saw the positive side. For many years I have been unable to fully be attentive to them, stressed from the busy life of work and traveling around to get the kids to and from and the items we needed for the house. This was an opportunity to read books, to watch them play in the yard and see how much they really have grown over the years. This was a time to enjoy the less hectic life I have come so accustomed to… But would I be able to?


Posted in Uncategorized

My birthday at Ale Capone’s Dinner And show


Lets take a trip back in time when Mobs ran the street and Capone was Chicagos Crime boss. Taking control from Johnny Torrio Capone began expanding his “business” as well as relationships with city police as well as the Mayor. But his rean wouldn’t last long, after Saint Valentines Day Massacre (Seven North Side Irish were found murdered in Chicago) the tensions grew thicker between the South Side Italians and North side Irish. Newspapers then naming Ale Capones Public Enemy Number 1… But before we get too lost into history lets take you back in time with Geraldo and I at Capone’s dinner and show.


Let me tell you this… I’ve been wanting to go to Ale Capones Dinner Show since moving to
Florida in 2006! My excitment leading up to the night couldn’t be contained. I was hoping to be dressed up more for the 1930-1940’s feel but a pair of heels and a nice blouse… I guess that will do for this visit. As we walked towards the resturant we were greeted at the door as the doorman looked through the tickets for my name. Enterting the Resturant we had our mug shots taken; little did I know that I wasn’t suppose to smile. Makes me wonder if I would smile or cry during a real mug shot… I am sure it would be cry! Tony then introduced himself and even told us if we had any problems that he knows someone to take care of it.. You have been warned haha. Ok back to the seriousness. We were given our tickets to head upstairs to the bar and VIP lounge where they offered appitizers such as onion rings and fries. But let’s be honest my concern was on the bar.
Our bar tender took great care of our Rum Runners as well as posed for a photo!

Tony later came for us as we watched poker being played as well as a couple other casion games. We followed two other groups back downstairs as Tony escorted us to each table. I didn’t imagine the tables being large with more then one party but the couples we had near us were funny as well as very cute. We had an older couple near us, the woman dressed for the time period and her husband being such a gentlemen. He went for her plates at the buffet. Yes I said buffet, they had two different types of pasta as well as three different types of sauces. The salad bar had my eyes and the pizza of course, true italian blood runs through my vains. I needed a little bit of everything includding the carving station.

Tony kept my drinks full, constantly running to all his tables and making his mobster jokes as we watched the show. May I say I have never been so amused, laughing and smiling the whole time.. No it wasn’t the drinks! The show was outstanding, the dancers so kind while they pulled us on stage. No I didn’t think this would happen especially twice! Geraldo was fist to be pulled on stage; he was asked what he liked to do as a hobby which led into some great adult humor. They were told not to say the first thing that was on their mind due to the fact it was a family show… Basketball was his second choice I would say then.

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After a short intermission which allowed ciggerett breaks for some and bathroom breaks for the remainder of us. This also gave us time to look over the newspaper, arrest report and keychains with our mug shots; soon we were back to the story. The main characters , and
had us laughing up until I was taken on stage with … I was worried after a few Rum runners and heels I was unsure of what I was getting myself into. The young woman with me was also picked as a back up dancer, I must have looked the most humours to be put on stage to dance. I had fun, awkward but fun as the dancer with me helped me out as well as brought my nerves down. I’m a behind the scenes type, I don’t think I am great at being put on the spot. As someone that likes a schedule and scared of change I was VERY nervous! Geraldo took a video of it all… Don’t laugh as hard as I am.


The shoot out was amazing, not knowing where to look I was whipping my head back and forth to each side of the stage as well as the VIP lounge upstairs.


The show was breath-taking and by that I mean I was constantly laughing. I can’t wait to return in the future to the past. Until then take a check on my Instagram for videos of Ale Capones Dinner show.