Is she lonely?… Isabella and I have always had a strong bond as mother and daughter, we’ve been through a lot in our short three (four if you count pregnancy) years together. She’s my best friend and reason for waking every morning. Then we expanded our family with Elleanna, a blessing to complete our family, maybe for the time being or maybe our two girls are enough. For now they have our hands full and our hearts even fuller. But are both girls getting the right amount of attention or is one getting more than the other?
Having an infant again means you spend much of your days carrying them, teaching them, changing them and feeding but is there time for their older sibling? Since day one Isabella has known she had a sibling on the way, from the moment we found out she began speaking about it. “Baby, mommy’s tummy.” Which she seemed to be letting the secret out though not many caught on right away. Geraldo and I were excited, Elleanna is our rainbow baby which completed us and bonded us more than we ever imagined. Isabella listened to the baby through her Doc. McStuffins doctor kit and kissed my belly, along with telling me she wanted a brother and a sister. Thank goodness she wasn’t right about both, though I felt and looked large enough for both. We had daddy’s Princess.
Our days have become mainly about Elleanna, as a breast-fed baby she always wants mommy but so does Isabella with our strong bond. Is there jealousy or am I not being fair? I’m always worried and many see it as babying Isabella but it’s a big change. How do you separate times between an infant and a toddler? I find at times I need to run and hide, sadly but I need a moment to get myself together so I can calmly help each child. I’ve watched Isabella go back in age or de-advance in some areas you could say after having Elleanna; a nightmare I knew could happen. From Elleanna having mittens on her hands to keep her from scratching her delicate skin, we then noticed Isabella taking her socks off and putting them upon her hands. When checking on Isabella at night or seeing her when she first woke. I found her smiling saying “Mama look.”. Was this her first cry to attention?
When we brought Elleanna home and began taking care of her I tried to incorporate Isabella in helping take care of her sister from getting the diapers and getting her pacifier. Now as Elleanna is beginning to get older Isabella is helping more and more from trying to change her, helping bath her and teach her different things like walking now. But when we look at all that it’s about Elleanna and not about Isabella really… So how do I make more time for Isabella?
I feel torn between the children they are so young and have been through so much already in life, especially Isabella. So here’s my challenge… Mommy & Bella time. Mommy & Elle time. Daddy & Bella time. Daddy & Elle time. But the real challenge is how will we do this? My first step is Mommy Elle and Daddy Bella time during this weekend; I found an event that I would love to be part of… The BIG Latch On, which will be recording how many breast-feeding mothers latch their little ones on world-wide. I’m very excited for this event. At the same time that Heather, myself and our youngest girls will be attending the older girls will have daddy, daughter time. First step in giving the girls some one on one attention.
How do you separate your time between children to make them feel special or have you found a way to make each child receive the attention they are craving for while still with their sibling? Please share ideas and opinions I’d love to hear from you all.