FAMILY TIME, Guilt, Questions

Confessions of a crazed mother: Part three

The sniffles, the coughs and cries I hear as the baby monitor begins to light up… The clock stuck on 1:17am the fun has begun. Falling leafs have blown in stuffy noses from small to big ones. Eyes squinting and circles under their poor little eyes the sickness has spread from school mates to the older girls that just loved to share with their younger sisters.


The clinging of the babies, the terror screams in the night and of course our medicine addicted Isabella. My hair’s not done, my eyes stay blackened with tired bags of motherhood, thrown on t-shirts and work clothes not ironed; Jack nipping at our noses has just begun for our Floridan blood.

With a week away for my little girls big day I wonder how I will bottle emotions. (I’m an emotional freak of a melt down when it comes to birthdays.. Or just about everything.) I snuggle my little girls and wonder what our future holds, when they will be too big for their mother to kiss boo-boos or morning cuddles…


So here’s my guilt: The frustration shown on my face as I rush to get ready for work, the clingy children upon my feet I wonder if I’ll ever have a moment alone. Time to straighten my hair, apply make-up the correct way or even pee. I know I am far from the perfect mother or girlfriend, I complain a lot.. May be the lack of sleep, the unhealthy eating habits or the pure anger of feeling as if it all rests on me.

Baths and school clothes, lunch and snacks no time for a nap this mommy is moving.. From drop off to pick up then back to work I go to earn our daily living expenses I wonder will I ever have a break?


My heartache: I feel as if I’m not taking advantage of every moment, every cry… Maybe I need a day of just the girls and I; to remember they wont be babies much longer. One day these girls will be asking to go on dates, spending nights at friends houses (which really means sneaking around to see a boy *I’m watching you girls!*) The late night whimpers and whines while I try to get ready is a plead for the attention they are in such need of.


My to do list: Laugh a bit louder, take a moment… A day… A week to remember though they will always be my babies they really wont be babies forever. To take their hand prints, photos and cherish the giggles. Squished faces,  the little bit of food Elleanna decides after chewing that it must be placed into mommy’s hand for safe keeping (cringes a little).


What are some of your tricks to get your daily to-dos done with a sick little one?

“I wont always cry, Mommy, when you leave the room.

And my supermarket tantrums will end too soon.

I wont always wake, Daddy, for cuddles through the night,

And one day you will miss having a chocolate face to wipe.

You wont always wake to find my foot is kicking you out of bed,

or find me sideways on your pillow where you want to lay your head.

You wont always have to carry me in asleep from the car,

or piggy back me down the road when my little legs can’t walk that far.

So Cherish every cuddle, remember them all. One day Mommy I won’t be this small.”


1 thought on “Confessions of a crazed mother: Part three”

  1. I understand your pain. I hate it when Charlotte cries because she is tired and I’m doing 99% of her care, but I know it won’t be long before it’s gone.

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