Posted in FAMILY TIME, Mom life, Uncategorized

The Confessions of a crazed mother: And the family grows part II

The excitement return to their eyes as Miracle began rubbing up against my leg. She looked fatter now, healthy but tired. As  I allowed her in and began getting her water and food I was thrilled to see her but she had more of a surprise for us. As she laid down on the floor in my bedroom I began to notice little  details about her… Her and her large belly among other areas that were more pronounced than before. It didn’t take long as I began to rub her belly and feel babies moving I realized “here we go again”.

As a day went back she became more attached to my side, following my wobbling self around the house. Later in the evening she laid down in the pile of dirty laundry and labor began. I as a mother felt bad, the last time we weren’t there she was all alone while giving birth to five kittens. I laid down and began to rub her stomach between each contraction that she was screeching and breathing through. I saw the pain in her eyes and I couldn’t leave her side. Mind you I moved her to towels in an area that she would feel more comfortable from the children.

Slowly the labor progressed and we began to meet each. First the orange (Cutie Pie as Isabella calls here). Then another ten to fifteen minutes after another black and white… It took over an hour for all FIVE kittens to be born. Black and White (3), as well as ALL BLACK (1) and the oldest orange and white (1). I was there for it all … ALL THE GROSS MOMENTS AS WELL… Yuckkkkkk! But the excitement as they were born was as if I were having another baby. My baby fever has been lifted a bit now. Checking on five kittens throughout the night, making sure they are warm and being fed by their mother (Miracle).

 

We were blessed with another set of kittens that soon we will be finding homes for. But one will stay with us… They are now a month and a half old, running around playing; jumping on their mothers tail and climbing up the sofas and beds. Healthy and happy these kittens will soon needs names. To think all of these kittens wouldn’t be here if I didn’t find Miracle in the road all that time ago.

 

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Posted in FAMILY TIME, Mom life, Uncategorized

Looking from the sideline…

Throbbing and aching is my body these days. As age is catching up with me I have found every ache that should have been during those crazy young years. Not saying I’m old but the years are adding up these days. Within the past few weeks I’ve felt a lot more aching then before, though that could be caused by the broken foot. The impossible task of sitting down and relaxing when an unforeseen event such as this has thrown my life off-balance. The bills are stacked one on top of another… The stress has become overwhelming but as everyone says everything happens for a reason.

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Isabella and Elleanna during our Disney on Ice adventure at the Amway.

The last three weeks out of work, which is far from usual when I work 5 to 6 days a week and have been crazy enough to try 9 days in a row one time, has been a changing experience. I have been reading late night books, like my daughter’s new favorite 5 Little Monkeys Reading in bed. I have had my little one fall asleep laying against me and caught up on some much-needed doctor appointments for the kids.

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At a family 2nd birthday party. How do you go after a child that is scared to go down and you cant get in as an adult and with a broken foot?

I’ve known for a long time that I’ve been missing out but these weeks have been amazing, stressful and depressing though happiness and a new-found form of spiritual investment in myself and family were found. I have had opportunities to watch the girls laugh and play, we’ve been seeing family that we haven’t been able to see due to work schedules and car situations.

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Isabella and Elleanna during our Disney on Ice adventure at the Amway.

I’ve been sitting on the sideline observing each smile, laugh and tear of my children. Their tears are not because mommy is walking away from another long day at the restaurant but because they want to snuggle me some more (and I may be trying to hide in the bathroom). We all need those mommy/daddy breathers!

Posted in FAMILY TIME, Guilt, Mom life, Uncategorized

Confessions of a crazed mother: tired and off course

The pitch black of the hallway outside my bedroom door sends shivers up my spine. The silence of the house opens my mind to the many stresses, the wonders and the doubts. My eyelids heavy with another passing day, my head throbbing like I have a mini drummer making music; I count my blessings. I count my stresses… My failures.

The soft pillow underneath my head and my favorite cuddly blanket I try to find my happy place. I’ve made it through another day. The trash is picked up, the children are bathed and I have made my appearance at work again. I’ve strayed off path… As though a fork in the road is ahead of me I find that I may have chosen the wrong way. Working each day I find myself wiping the tears from my babies faces,”When I’m off again we’ll do something fun, I wont work too late.” As though I am lying between my teeth I count the bills in my head. I lie to myself even, “After I get this bill paid we can go get a surprise…”. Truth is that is very far down the road.

Bed time stories and movie nights have become but a memory, the nightmares of a stressful night have become but a present state of mind.

My confession:

I am trying my best like many parents are. We are working multiple jobs or long hours with many days. We find that we are doing what we can to provide a safe home, food on the table and clothes on their backs. But we have allowed the stress to overwhelm us and take our emotions.

After a long day at work, in a business that is very people oriented, we come home to a messy house and children hyper. Though we know they are hyper that we are home, play time with mommy (and/or daddy) we have run out of patients. The smallest things set us off from stepping on a toy you asked to be put away or finding an article of clothing on the floor. 

Truth…

It’s not their fault. I am allowing the demons in the night and day to whisper in my ear. I have found myself off course… Maybe I have been off this course for many years now. It’s time to find strength, happiness and get back on track. The map I have been reading is wrong and I am choosing to create a path back in the right direction. Time to get back to bedtime stories, Friday movie nights and playground trips. This mommy is ready to take off on a swing, reach the clouds and be a little closer to the many blessings ahead as well as currently with me.

 

Thank you to a new friend for giving me

some hope and strength today.

Don’t ever change that kind heart of yours.